Jafet Rubi
Dec 16 2023
Balancing gratitude and happiness in a dark world.
This is a 4 minute read.
Living is easy with eyes closed. - John Lennon
As this year comes to a close, it’s so easy for me to put a bow on this year. It’s been a great year for me personally; I’ve learned a lot, got a new job, and spent a lot of time with people who are important to me. But what about everyone else? Has it been a great year for them as well?
I doubt it has. There have been a lot of unfortunate events this year: war, impending doom due to climate change, mental health crises, and a bunch more that I’m undoubtedly forgetting.
It would be easy to ignore everything and act like my experience is the only experience. However, I don’t think that’s fair. It’s not fair to those who have lost their lives due to their religious beliefs. It’s not fair to people who have decided to take their own lives due to overwhelming stress and anxiety. It’s also not fair to communities who have lost everything due to extreme weather events.
So how do us empaths go about our lives without feeling guilty and solemn all the time? I’m not sure I have the only answer, but here are a couple of things that I do that seem to help me balance the luxuries of my own life with attempting to alleviate suffering for others:
This is the easiest thing to do on this list, and it’s free. If you and I went to a restaurant and ordered the exact same thing, and if I was grateful for the meal and you weren’t, you can bet your bottom dollar that the meal would taste better for me than it would for you. Sitting down and trying to think of one or two reasons why I’m grateful for anything and everything at least once a week is a practice I’ve implemented this year, and although I’m not that great at it yet, I can tell that it’s made me more appreciative of everything and everyone around me.
That Xbox One that’s been sitting in your closet for the past 2 years after graduating from college could go from never used to never turned off. The old clothes that you hide in the corner of your closet could go from collecting dust to keeping people warm this winter. The little things add up. This practice also helps you declutter your life and focus on the things that matter.
In my own life, I’m averse to donating large amounts of money at one time, but I am totally okay with spending $5 at Starbucks twice a week. One thing that’s helped me become less of a glutton with my money is to make small recurring gifts to charitable causes in my community. Even though it probably adds up to more or less the same amount if I donated a lump sum once a year rather than small, frequent amounts, it’s just easier for my brain to meet halfway with my heart when rationalizing it this way. Also, if you’re a selfish altruist like me, sometimes you get cool gifts like socks or a t-shirt if you become a recurring donor rather than a one-time donor, which just helps with incentivizing our monkey brains into continuing to donate… but, if it works, it works.
This one is pretty important too. It’s sad to say that almost all of the news we consume is sad news, and it definitely takes a toll on us. Try to go a few days or a week every month without consuming any news, or replace all of your sad news consumption with cute animal videos or by picking up a new hobby. This also applies to social media. We all know that avoiding social media is almost always a good thing.
Even though there are so many sad things happening in the world, know that there are always good people out there, and there will always be people who care about you because I care about you!
Happy Holidays!
I leave you with these words of passage John 14:27:
Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled, and do not be afraid.